The Roommate Factor

I'm feeling a little .... conflicted at the moment. 

Me and Julien have had another couple stay with us for the past two weeks (a few more days to go). They paid a fair amount to stay here for two weeks, and they seemed perfectly nice so we thought it would go just fine. But things have gotten a little ... awkward. 

The wife (will not delve into names) seems to be really upset at me and Julien, for who knows what reason. She barely says a word to us, other than to chastise us for something we're doing that's bothering her. When she talks, she talks only to her husband and will barely acknowledge us. I personally don't feel we did anything to deserve it, especially considering all the lengths we went to to make sure the house could well accommodate them - but if we did, the worst thing she could do is the thing that she's doing ... ignoring us. I'd rather just know what the problem is and deal with it, rather than have this unnecessary tension that's slowly eating away at my brain.

I don't quite know what's going on but I'm trying to figure out the best way to approach it. The last thing I want is for her to get really upset and somehow take it out on the house (you never really know how people are going to behave until afterwards). 

You never really know people.

Why Blog?

Lately I've been having some major life transitions, mainly looking for a new job and trying to be more self-confident and reliable, and it's caused me to question quite a bit of the world around me, the things I see and the things I experience.

The one I'm questioning right now is: why blog?

Blogging is a recent phenom that's such a huge part of many people's lives. With the exception of the past few weeks, in which I have not really been present in my life AT ALL, or on this blog, blogging has really become a big part of mine. I love to let people know about my thoughts and feelings, and to read the thoughts and feelings of others. It helps me feel connected to this large and vast world that we live in.

Is that why everybody else does it? To feel connected? I certainly hope so, although I've heard differently before. I've heard many people say that blogging is for promoting oneself, promoting a company, promoting an idea ... promoting promoting promoting. Sounds like a commercial for, well, YOU. 

"Just off the rack, fresh baked Beth ready for the reading and noticing!" 

But there has to be more to it, right? So much more than just selling something for attention or profit. That just sounds narcissistic. There has to be a baser reason - the instinctual drive to know, to connect, to feel. We all want to feel something, to reach out and know that somebody's there, hearing what we say and caring about our lives. 

That's why I do it. What about you?

Job and Life: Update

Wow, the past (however long I haven't written since) has been insane. I'm currently training the new Wine Club Coordinator, and couldn't be happier about it. Every time I teach her something I realize that it's something I'll never have to do again, and I feel better about it every time it happens. I have two more days of training her and then I'm done.
As far as getting a new job goes, I'm in the final throes of getting hired at a restaurant in Cannery Row. I'll make good money there and the people seem really nice. I have a final interview tomorrow and I'm pretty sure I have the job.
I feel so good right now ... I feel more in control of my life than I have in awhile. I feel like I stood up to a tank and said DO NOT PASS. I've needed to feel this for a long time now.
I'll let you know whether or not I got the job ... and I promise I'll FINALLY post some new pics of my new house.

Beth
p.s. last Saturday my family and I put our dog, Misha, to sleep. She had been with us for 13 years, and it was really hard to see her go ... but we didn't want her to suffer in pain anymore.

The life I lead

Wow, it's been awhile since my last post. I'm not surprised, it's been a rough couple of weeks. But all is going to be better now, I just know it. 

I finally got the courage to quit my job. I've been thinking about it for months now, and I finally did it. I'd been having a rough time there and I feel like it was becoming the wrong environment for me. I was no longer Wine Club Coordinator - instead I felt like  as assistant to my own position, having to take orders without any control over anything. I felt powerless and alone. It got to the point where I was crying almost every day at work, sobbing in the bathroom. It wasn't healthy for me or for my loved ones.

Not to mention the fact that my schoolwork has been suffering, which my teacher had even told me on Thursday. Well, she didn't say it was suffering, per se, rather that I didn't seem like my usual self as of late. By the way, I found out that if I take one certain class at college this fall, I'll qualify as a transfer for San Diego State University, my dream school. I wouldn't be able to take the class if I was still working the 8:30am-5pm.

I'm still going to work there for awhile as a Tasting Room host, just so I have a guaranteed job, but I'm currently looking for something else that's closer to home for the nights. I don't quite know what the future will bring, but I'm optimistic. I'll keep you posted on how things go.