Sucker for Evil

It's hard to say what the appeal is to playing as an evil character in a video game. Wait, I take that back - it's incredibly easy to say what the appeal is, it's just really awful to admit.

I was a big fan of Fallout 3 - I didn't play it too many times, but when I did I could get lost in it for hours. I finally understood why all those gamers could spend 8+ hours a day playing video games. It's additive. Right now I'm playing inFamous, another fun game that I've spent a lot of time playing. It's the only game where I've almost caught up to Julien in game progress (I have my own game file, of course). Considering his deep love of video games, that's saying a lot.

What's unique about both these games, versus other games of Julien's that I don't enjoy playing, is that in both of them you have a choice: you can play as a good guy, or a total shithead.

Well, I guess I'm a shithead.

In both of these games my character has ended up as the most evil incarnate asshole imaginable. I've enjoyed enslaving people, killing civilians and destroying lots and lots of random shit. When I run around the inFamous universe, people scream and run away at the sight of me, yelling that they don't want to die. But they die. Oh boy, do they die.

It's very very very odd, considering my personality. I like to think of myself as a kind individual who values the lives and well beings of others greatly. And yet, in this game universe, nothing matters but my own survival and petty amusement.

People often say that when you live your life through the digital world, i.e. chat rooms, Facebook or video games, you often project an image of yourself that you would either like to be, or you create someone that you could or would never ever be. It's the whole idea that we can create another soul, another version of ourselves that can do whatever they want with virtually (pun intended) no consequences.

(Especially interesting, because some friends of mine, like Armie, say that they could never play an evil character, because they identify too much with their character and feel guilty about hurting or killing others inhumanely.)

Perhaps why I like my characters to be evil, to have that charming side of barbaric self-preservation is because, deep down, that's someone I could never ever be ... but perhaps someone I might want to.

What type of character are you?

New member

I haven't told you guys yet, but I recently became a proud parent ... to a brand new iPhone 3gs!! That's right, I'm writing this blog entry from my new phone. That's right, blogging on the go! Be sure to stay tuned, everybody.

The Bitch Code

"You all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it ok for guys to call you sluts and whores" - Mean Girls.

All right, so last night me and Julien went out to karaoke with our friend Armie, along with a group of his friends from the musical he was in. I had a good time but overall the whole night was mostly ... well ... educational, to say the least.

Since I was homeschooled, I never really had much of a chance to absorb the whole typical female "culture," since most of my time was spent studying, playing music and being very very shy. I was always a bit jealous that I wasn't able to get to know lots of different girls - that I didn't get to go to high school and have that whole social clique thing that you see in different TV shows and movies. (Of course, now I know high school isn't like TV at all, but I had my fantasies.)

So the group last night had a few girls in it, most of whom were very nice. So all of us hung out last night, drinking and smoking and just chatting it up. Well, I observed something very interesting over the course of the evening that, no matter how long it went, never went away: all the girls called each other bitches, sluts and whores all night long. ALL NIGHT LONG.

Am I missing something here?

At first I thought it was just a fluke, a glip in the language of the evening ... but no, it certainly wasn't. I don't think the girls ever called each other by their first names unless someone was asking where they were. Not only the girls, the guys were doing it too. Every woman there (save for me, thank goodness, because I would've gotten pissed) was called a bitch or a skank over and over again.

What the hell?! Is that supposed to be in good fun? Because it bothers the shit out of me.

When did it become okay for women to thrive on calling each other bitches and whores? How has that become common language for girls to say to each other? I don't get it people. I seriously DON'T GET IT.

The whole thing reminded me of the movie Mean Girls with Lindsay Lohan. In it a homeschooled girl goes to high school for the first time and gets absorbed in a culture of girls who constantly berate, backstab and insult each other in order to make their lives feel slightly more meaningful. I thought it was an exaggeration, for entertainment value, but it turns out I was wrong. Girls actually speak to each other like this, on a daily basis.

I personally think it's complete bullshit. My reason? Because it's complete bullshit, people!

I don't want to spend all my time shooting others down while they do the same to me, over and over again, just so I "belong." How can that be at all productive, meaningful or genuine? It completely separates women from each other, turns us into parodies of the female experience and allows us (no, encourages us) to constantly insult each other under the guise of female stupidity. It's pathetic.

Well, I personally will never fall under this moniker. If someone calls me a bitch and I don't deserve it, I'll tell them to shove it right back up their ass. Because I'm not going to be one of those girls. Ever.